..... .... ... .. . mimi

thank you missy...

thank you...
for ur answer...
really appreciate it...
at least it doesnt leave me wondering...

& so people do tell you that, well there's always a reason why that something stops u. i would do anything just to be with u,but maybe u have 2nd thoughts to even reply my msgs,maybe NOW I can now understand why, maybe after 7 months I realize that we arent meant to be together, maybe it was wrong from the start..
MAYBE...
U always had thoughts & kept holding back..
I was always hurt & i kept holding on..

what i wanted was to have dinner & chat about how u were doin? if u met someone new? if ur frens are fine? if u & ur dad was ok? if kitty & snowy have growned? if u were fine & happy? if barney was still under ur bed? =) if ur bro is ok? if work was still irritating? it was about u-me not u&me

**never did i want to make u feel guilty...

all this while i never called u a bitch or heartless or anything, well maybe what u did was cruel but i never called u all that... well people change, u change... u werent the person i knew when we started our relationship but everyone change right. its human nature, i cant blame that...

i just wanted to see u for a short while & for the last time and hope it make me happy for a while..

her name is sue, my ex who u were scared that i leave u for her.she engaged, getting married in years time,she is not as beautiful as you, she doesnt get angry wen im late,she's just sweet...

she's someone i never get to be with eventhou i want to...

coz i did some bad things to her...

thats why she's my secret...

& in the end, i go back to square ONE!

sometimes..

i wished u were like her...

i wished she was like you...

well thank you for ur answer...

~pray for me will you...

coz i'll always will for you...

Wednesday, July 23, 2008 // 10:07 PM

lost...

2 days to d-day...

still no answer from you.
i really just wanna meet you.
i guess you don't care anymore.
i guess the longer i try to move on and forget you, the harder it will be...
the only problem i have is that i keep thinking of you...
BUT there is ONE thing that i'm sure about...
**you'll NEVER FIND SOMEONE Who LOVES YOU MORE than I DO

&soWE
met @ her workplace for lunch as planned
yeeaaahh! i was late. i got problem wit estimating timings uh
she was wearing long sleeve shirt, skirt and heels...
a sight than i've never seen before
walked all around & when it was time to eat...
she forgot her purse
ate & talked...
she never fails to make me laugh
well she nearly spit out water on my face bcoz she was drinking water when i made her laugh
i walked her to her workplace
she asked me to update her on my case, she gave me her address so if i was to be charged(i hope i wont) to send her letters...
hope i wont have to do that...
i love her...
wonderful company,
bubbly personality,
she just makes me smile & laugh all day
thats when i remembered why i fall for her 3 years ago...
& shes the only girl that can make me forget shafa,
BUT
we can never be together,
i wont ever fight for her eventhough i have a chance...
she was a part of my life,& still is...
she is my...
SECRET AFFAIR...

**NOW i just leave everything to ALLAH!
coz ALLAH is the one who determines everything...
coz ALLAH is almighty!
amin~!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008 // 9:31 PM

specially for you...

she....
was cruel to me
played with my feelings
always wanted everything to go her way
do everything that she wanted,
better do or,
but in the end,
blames ME for not making any decisions
blames me for everything...
BUT
wants to work everything out
NO,
in a few days later she changes her mind
den she treats ME like i was the one who played behind her back,
like i didn't an unforgivable SIN,
when she was the one who LEFT me...
left me aimless
lifeless
we had a dream...
well maybe mine
but you agreed to it
sacrifices
MONEY!
earned MONEY
FOR HER!
FOR HER FREAKING FUTURE!
FOR OUR LIFE TOGETHER!
but
u blamed everything...
time...
money...
REASONS!
but all that were supposed to be
FOR YOU!!!
i had it all planned out
u at home
ME going to work
supporting you
but...

7 months flies
but
this is always on my mind...

im supposed to HATE you for wat u DID!!!
but then
i still love u eventhough u DID all that...
i dont noe why
i dont wan to
but
wen im alone
i think of you
wen im asleep
i dream of you

7 months...
still cant forget ur,
smile
voice
innocent eyes
ur,

LOVE

imissyou

**you never stop loving someone, you only learn how to live without them...

Saturday, July 19, 2008 // 11:27 PM

stupidity...

well done mimi...
i'm charge for assaulting 3 french guys but my case is pending till the 24th of July 2008 10.00am @ Tanglin Police Station. On that day then i will know if i will be charged in court or not. but i have a feeling that i'll be...

my life is now gone. all i've worked for will now really dissapear. i dont wanna go to prison again...

Please Ya ALLAH...
Help me!!!

yesterday i dream of you. crying alone. u seem to have alot of problems. i huged you and said ur name...i woke up after that...

i really wanna meet u. not to talk nonsense but just wanna see ur face...just u...even if we didnt talk wen we meet, i just wanna see u thats enuf.please don't say no...

its my moment of stupidity again...
if im charged, most likely it will be years...

Sorry everyone...
i let all of YOU down...

**AGAIN!

Saturday, July 12, 2008 // 1:08 PM

so...
sue doesnt call me anymore...
she called last week but i was so scared of picking up the phone...
takot lah tu tunang dia ke yang call kan...
she said she kinda miss me...
& yes i just kept quiet after she said that...
so she got soooo much things to tell me...
haiz, now i've to charge her, & become her counselor..haha~
thursday was DBL O
saturday was HRC
i was Mar & Jue's BDay!!
everyone was there...
naz,tini,lily,is,sharom,ayu,tok-tok,jue,aci boy,mar,nina...
wen i reached there, jue was like...botak! Botak! sini amek gambar...
shit uh, wanna get hold of those pics uh...
den after that Nina talk to me sia...
about shafa...
kan spoil the day, make me sad...
haiz now i miss that girl uh...

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can't help but wish that I was there
Back where I'd love to be, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,
when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
’Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleeps
and all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,
when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
’Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
when hope begins to fade...

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,
when I'm much too far away
We all need the person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
’Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

Monday, July 07, 2008 // 11:31 PM

it starts with the letter 'S'

eventhou i have a good job, a good future & family...

i feel that i'm missing someone special in my life...

every relationship seems so wrong...

eventhou it felt so wonderful...

i'm waiting for someone who doesnt even care anymore...

i keep seeing someone who is already engaged...

i give up...

maybe i just follow what ibu say uh...

stay on, take care of her, go travelling around with her...

maybe something will happen...

maybe she'll come back...

maybe i'll meet someone...

apa apa lah eh....

coz i'm so scared of committing myself to someone new...

sometimes i feel sad,

to see people's feelings change just in a split second...

**mimiBOTAK

Tuesday, July 01, 2008 // 9:40 PM